diff --git a/users/tamsin/gemlog/2024/03-24.gmi b/users/tamsin/gemlog/2024/03-24.gmi
index cc40371..44e075c 100644
--- a/users/tamsin/gemlog/2024/03-24.gmi
+++ b/users/tamsin/gemlog/2024/03-24.gmi
@@ -9,6 +9,8 @@ i was in Seattle this weekend where i had a date to take a girl to the ballet (P
 
 the highlight of One Thousand Pieces was the climax of the first half, when columns of mist fall behind the dancers. the water on the stage in this part of the performance both expands and restricts movements. the slick surface forces restraint. bodies enter controlled slides where they would otherwise stop abrputly. light is dispersed by the cascading mist and water droplets stream from the performers, throwing long symmetries across the stage.
 
-for the whole time i've known her my date has pursued her transition with an intensity i can't help but admire. i rarely see her not healing from one or more surgeries, laser sessions, tattoos---as an exercise of bodily autonomy, tattoos can be a trans technique. my own pace is more patient. my capacity is tempered by my focus on motherhood, which offers its own forms of intensity.
+for the whole time i've known her my date has pursued her transition with an intensity i can't help but admire. i rarely see her not healing from one or more surgeries, laser sessions, tattoos---as an exercise of bodily autonomy, tattoos can be a trans technique. it's powerful, but also takes its toll.
+
+my own pace is more patient, tempered by my focus on motherhood. that is its own kind of trans technique and offers its own forms of intensity.
 
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