still just making random updates to test a post-commit hook

Signed-off-by: tamsin woo <tamsinwoo@proton.me>

ethically-questionable-citation-practices.gmi

@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+# 〈ethically questionable citation practices〉
+
+> Citation is feminist memory. Citation is how we acknowledge our debt to those who came before; those who helped us find our way when the way was obscured because we deviated from the paths we were told to follow.
+
+> Writing becomes infrastructural when the writing becomes embedded in higher-level products and systems and shapes them in often unnoticed ways.
+
+a pleasant artifact of gemini's limited typographical infrastructure—especially its lack of inline links—is that it occasions the breakdown of the citation practices common to informal writing on the web. citation practices produce and reproduce our disciplines, form alliances, and connect individual documents. in turn, these become the infrastructure of our intellectual pursuits.
+
+a change in the technology of the document presents an opportunity to think carefully about how citational convention influnces our writing and our thought. i intend to do this continually and maintain this as a guide to my evolving style.
+
+* epigraphs: i will frequently use one or more blockquoted epigraphs in the front-matter or epilogue of a document or subheaded section. these will never be attributed directly. body text may reference the quoted author or work, and may comment on the epigraph's connection to the document's content. citation may also be provided by link (see below). epigraphs will sometimes be included without comment, particularly when the source is easily identifed from other sources.
+* blockquotes and inline quotes: when interspersed with body text, quotations will usually be introduced or otherwise explained. they won't be cited in any traditional format. my hope is that, without recourse to shorthand, i'll tend to limit inline references to bodies of work i can take the time to engage with fully.
+* links: links will normally appear as a list of “references”—influences, really—as an appendix.
+
+i may choose to omit citation “carelessly” where my intention is to avoid linking either myself or my work to another.
+
+---
+
+i don't expect that i will reproduce substantial portions of texts here unless they are otherwise hard to find or unavailable. in that case, i would explain the source in some detail.
+
+---
+
+=> https://feministkilljoys.com/2013/09/11/making-feminist-points/ Making Feminist Points — Sara Ahmed
+=> https://tigerprints.clemson.edu/english_pubs/62/ Citational Practices as a Site of Resistance and Radical Pedagogy — Cana Uluak Itchuaqiyaq & Jordan Frith
+=> preliminary-materials.gmi preliminary materials; more on 〈ethically questionable citation practices〉
+
+---
+
+=> index.gmi ~tamsin

gemlog/2024/04-03.gmi

@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@
 
 i caught "The Worship Tour" at The High Water Mark.
 
-this show was late in the tour. the artists had been robbed of much of their equipment a few days before. there were technical difficulties with some of the replacement equipment. Body/Negative was replaced by local Amulet as an opener.
+this show was late in the tour. the artists had been robbed of much of their equipment a few days before. there were technical difficulties with some of the replacement equipment. Body/Negative was replaced by local Amulets as an opener.
 
 nevertheless, this was the place for the slowcore dolls to become and unbecome.
 

gemlog/2024/06-04.gmi

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+# we have the relationships of too many rats in a cage
+
+## 2024-06-04
+
+a woman i went on a coffee date with some weeks back tried negging me over text. we've been in and out of touch since the initial date. this week she seems to have decided she wants to hit it, and it's threatening to her self regard that i'm not dropping everything at the opportunity. in one breath i get “i think you are hot... been feeling rowdy again a lil”. in the next “you can always hire me lol”. my deflection, that i'm not interested in giving my time to transactional relationships, was met with (and again, i went to coffee with her once; we haven't even kissed):
+
+> I wasn't saying u have no rizz bb or are bad at sex bb, just that I am so good at it people pay me.
+
+inadvertently, i have contested her desirability. the dominance she wants to establish—i think—is that i will be made to reflect it back to her regardless of my will in it. she topped it off with unprompted remarks about /relationship anarchy/, John Waters “(who I've hung out with!)”, (not having read) Sophie Lewis, and her (self?) diagnoses as they relate to her communication style.
+
+i think this is all too transparently insecure for someone i had been considering letting hurt me. yet i've not, so far, ended the conversation.
+
+a musicologist i dated briefly in my twenties tried to impress me by telling me about his recent trip to Europe, where he had been consulting on a Bruce LaBruce project. i didn't know about LaBruce then, and so failed be impressed in the specific way he hoped. my ignorance didn't stop him from taking me to his place for a glass of port and a blowjob. my most vivid recollection is the way he said “damn dude”, as he touched my hips.
+
+maybe now, i'm just going to play hard to get. if she wants this from me, she's going to have to take it.

gemlog/index.gmi

@@ -1,7 +1,10 @@
+# superfemme drag
+
 ## 2024
 
-=> 2024/04-03.gmi 2024-04-03: unbecoming
-=> 2024/03-24.gmi 2024-03-24: one thousand pieces
+=> 2024/06-04.gmi 2024-06-04 we have the relationships of too many rats in a cage
+=> 2024/04-03.gmi 2024-04-03 unbecoming
+=> 2024/03-24.gmi 2024-03-24 one thousand pieces
 
 ---
 

index.gmi

@@ -2,12 +2,17 @@
 
 ## currently
 
+=> gemlog/2024/06-04.gmi we have the relationships of too many rats in a cage
 => gemlog/2024/04-03.gmi unbecoming
 => gemlog/2024/03-24.gmi one thousand pieces
 
 ## about
 
-i am the admin of gemini.estradiol.cloud.
+i'm about to explain some things.
+
+i write here in a broken, self-consious way so that i won't be broken and self-consious when i flirt.
+
+=> ethically-questionable-citation-practices.gmi about the 〈ethically questionable citation practices〉employed here
 
 ## variations
 

motherhood/index.gmi

@@ -4,3 +4,5 @@
 ((`1( ((_)(( ((`( (('(|  ((`( ((_)((_)((_(
 
 ```
+
+=> trans-breastfeeding.gmi notes on transsexual breastfeeding; a living document

motherhood/trans-breastfeeding.gmi

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+
+# notes on transsexual breastfeeding; a living document
+
+> It's intimacy. We can never see it, except by indiscretion.
+
+i probably should have realized that cis men don't typically have a strong emotional attachment to nursing their (not yet conceived) babies.

preliminary-materials.gmi

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+# preliminary materials; more on 〈ethically questionable citation practices〉
+
+=> gemini://gemini.estradiol.cloud/~rumblestrips/journal/2024/2024-04-09-citation.gmi citation and/in context of gemini
+
+> It matters what matters we use to think other matters with; it matters what stories we tell to tell other stories with; it matters what knots knot knots, what thoughts think thoughts, what descriptions describe descriptions, what ties tie ties. It matters what stories make worlds, what worlds make stories.
+
+i mean mostly to set aside (not to say, “forget”) hypertext theory. that gemtext is hypertext is hard to ignore. there is enough provision for linking that spatial metaphors have salience. it's possible to build forking paths and the reader's orientation among them, mediated by the client, matters.
+
+but hypertext has a history. the memex is—explicitly—a machine of war.
+
+the style (or technique) i want to develop seeks to put the matter of “thinking with” at the forefront. i shy away from calling it a method since the methodology is self-consciously exploratory and emergent, born out of thinking carefully about thinking fabulously. rejecting 〈ethical citation practices〉, pointedly embracing 〈questionable〉ones as a matter of style, enables selective memory about the paths we were told to follow.
+
+this is a restructuring of intellectual debt.
+
+i want to play in the mud of plagiarism so that some paths become obscured by the wallow, and to leave my hands dirty. in some sense, i'm more interested in appropriation than citation.
+
+other ties i want to tie thoroughly. here, there's an element of aide-memoire; of marking new paths. but this is not a zettelkasten. the thing i want to /do/ with writing and citing in gemspace is to build new discursive infrastructures that, when reproduced, make new alliances. at least for myself. again it's appropriation, inflected differently this time, i'm trying to achieve.
+
+---
+
+=> index.gmi ~tamsin